Lost Some Hair, Gained Some More. September 9, 2015.

September 9. 2015.

This is the new website! It has a few more kinks to iron out but for the most part it is all finished! Ade did the whole thing and she rocked it didn’t she? SO from now on I will be posting from here and the old one will not be updated. This one is prettier, more professional, and easier to navigate. There is a subscribe button so you can get all the post notifications!

I decided I was going to rock the shaved side thing like Demi or Skrillex, I got my photos all ready and I was moving forward with a positive outlook on my new bald spot. It’s just another battle scar right? I wanted to show society that I wasn’t about to be ashamed of fighting for my life. So I entered the only barber shop opened on that Monday, a barber shop seemed legit anyway, after all they shave heads all the time! A real pretty gal with flamin’ red hair and tons of tattoos brought me to the chair. I told her right away about my situation and showed her the pictures. She was all for it, she even proceeded to tell me that she was Macklemore’s stylist! What!? How does that even happen? I guess she grew up with him and she cuts hair part-time more for fun. Anyway automatically I trusted her even more, I mean Macklemore guys. So she shaves a third of my head, I was expecting that, I mean it’s better than it falling out all over the place. Then she tells me that it would be a good idea to blend my hair so i don’t have a giant bald patch, she suggested a little a-line, not taking off too much length. I was all for it, I’ve had an a-line a million times and I like the look of it. So she starts doing her trimming and cutting, meanwhile I kind of took a deep breath and my attention shifted to the wall covered in magazine photos. I looked up just in time to see her cut a huge chunk off the back of my hair…

I watched in SHOCK as the hair that had just grown out from my pixie quickly turned back into a pixie… It was too late, there was no going back, my hair was ruined. I’m not confrontational you guys, in fact I’d rather sit there while she hacked away my hair and keep my mouth shut. At this point it was too late, but I still could have saved some of my hair! When she finally finished, to my dismay, she had used the wrong terminology. When she said a-line she really meant asymmetrical. So one side of my hair was pixie short and the other side was longer. Super trendy if I were lady gaga or something but I have never hated something more in my life! I felt like one of those characters that’s half girl and half boy, like I needed to walk around in half a tux and half a wedding gown. The moment I stepped out of the salon I burst into tears. I cried the entire walk home and I was more hysterical than when I found out I was losing a third of my hair.

Quickly the girls offered advice and we decided to go get extensions at Sally’s. Thank the Lord for Jess, she spent hours sewing them into my multi-length hair. I also had to part ways with the fun silver color, but it would have been a hit or miss as to whether the extensions would be the right color or not. I couldn’t handle another miss, this time HAD to be a hit! And it was, I really like having long hair again and it’s a nice change. The funniest thing about this whole thing is that I don’t have extensions because I have cancer and I’m losing my hair. I’m not trying to cover up the bald patch, I’m not ashamed of my hair loss. I have extensions because by me trying to embrace the bald I ended up with the worst haircut of my life!

Now the hard part is trying to understand what the Lord is having me learn from this. I mean the balding thing made sense and clicked with me, but a bad haircut? I mean come on! I know it will probably be revealed to me later, or maybe the haircut wasn’t even about me, who knows. At the end of the day it’s just hair, it grows back. For those of you who have been or are going through hair loss, embrace it! I know society tries to make us feel ugly and I know there are going to be stares. But how beautiful is it that you have an outward appearance of your fight? You can walk around in confidence knowing that you are fighting, you are surviving. Don’t let the hair loss keep you from remembering this time in your life, take pictures, go in public. There is so much beauty in this battle!

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One thought on “Lost Some Hair, Gained Some More. September 9, 2015.

  1. Hayden! You are my hero! You are so stinkn’ brave beyond words! I am OFFICIALLY in the clinical trial, they notified me today! We will be testing next Thursday and then meet with Dr. Bhatia on Monday and get my first infusion. Then I will be back every 21 days! I am going to touch base with you or your mom this weekend so maybe we can come see you!

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