September 11, 2015.
Mom is back in town! It’s nice to have company again and we’ve actually become friends so it’s kind of like being reunited with my friend.
We had dinner with a really amazing girl named Shongi, we met her at a college group we went to at the beginning of our Seattle journey. She just beams with love and joy and it is absolutely inspiring and it challenges me. She is a true example of what it looks like to live for God. She doesn’t hesitate to live out faith and she is not ashamed of her love for God. Her presence is convicting to me because even though I write a blog where I am not afraid to talk about my faith, I still find it hard to do so in person!
Today I took an Uber with a super hip granny. She had a strip of pink hair and she had a lime green car decorated with furbies. Something in me just assumed that she was an eccentric, hippy type that worshiped mother earth. Judgmental? Heck yeah it was and I’m not proud of it! But as I told her my story of cancer, I found it extremely hard for me to say anything about God. My fear of man crept in and paralyzed me. I knew that I would probably never see her again, I knew that my fear stemmed from a preconceived judgement based on her appearance, yet I let it control me anyway. At the end of the car ride she stepped out, gave me a hug, and told me that she would keep me in her prayers. UGHHH. Conviction already set in. I have tattoos, I have had tons of different hair colors and cuts, I wear makeup, and how many times have I been angry feeling like people have judged me and judged my walk with God? How many times have I “caught people off guard” because I actually know something about the bible? I had a really cool opportunity to share with this woman what God has been doing in my life and I didn’t. I am convicted by Shongi’s example because she loves everybody, she doesn’t judge them or let fear get in the way. Her love for Jesus overflows into love for people, and that’s how I want to be. I want to have boldness for Christ outside of my writing.
This whole concept was brought up again in my day because I was watching that show “Wife Swap” and a wife from a Christian family swapped with a wife that was from a family that had a husband, a wife, and a shared girlfriend. I watched as the each side tried to shove their views down each others throats. Both were at fault because their goal was to win an argument, their goal was to be the right one, their goal wasn’t love, it wasn’t wanting what’s best for one another. Jesus set an example for us, look at how He treated the woman at the well. He didn’t damn her to hell, He didn’t sit there and argue with her to make her change, He didn’t judge her by her appearance and say, “Well she’s beyond helping now, she can’t be saved so why even go there.” He approached her in truth and love. I want my love for Jesus to be the reason that I talk about Him, and for that to be the reason that I’m not afraid! I challenge you to learn about what the gospel is, what is your goal in talking about Jesus?Is it to win an argument? Is it to condemn? To put yourself on a pedestal? Or is it because you love Jesus? Is it because you desire to follow Him and in that you desire others to as well? Because you want to follow His example?
Bottom line, check your motivation guys and I am sure checking mine. By the way I received my invitation to graduation today! They throw a little graduation party for us when we finish radiation so that’s cool. Mine is coming up because, I’M ALMOST DONE WITH TREATMENT! Yay! Then I will be heading back to Klamath and the rest is unknown. I almost cried today at the thought of leaving Seattle, it’s kind of grown on me for sure.