I Thought I Was Poisoned…

So I just realized that I haven’t really kept you guys in the know as far as how radiation round 3 has been. This is mainly for your curiosity, but also for those of you who will ever have radiation and want to know what it’s really like. To be honest the doctors aren’t always […]

Is it a Wonderful Life?

I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted, but hey here I am! Alive, breathing, mostly in one piece, and COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS! Saturday the 14th is, (Lord willing) my last day. After that, well, we know how it goes. I will, and I’m sure you will, pray pray pray that I […]

Cried over Eggs.

I bawled my eyes out this morning during breakfast. It’s funny, they say “Don’t cry over spilled milk” but is it okay to cry over an underwhelming bowl of eggs? I could barely eat them. It was a very humbling moment, to lose something you rely on so much. Eating. I know it’s main purpose […]

Unfortunate Update.

The Collegiana, the mesh mask, Cross and Crown Church, it’s odd how I’ve made so many good and so many terrible memories here. If you haven’t followed my story for long, last August and September after my giant 11 hour surgery, I lived here at the Collegiana for 6 weeks and had radiation every day. […]

Looking Beyond This.

I’m here still. I took a little break from blogging, to be honest the last few weeks have been difficult. To catch you up, I just had my second Avelumab infusion, the next one is on the 28th. The last infusion went well, one poke and a few hours later and I was done! I […]

Have you ever lost your mind?

Who can know the mind of God? Who can know their own mind at times. I had every intention of continuing my story of how everything went wrong, the biopsy was painful, the next day it took 3 digs to find a vein for an IV, we got pulled over on the way home…yada yada. […]

20 viles later…

The first Avelumab Infusion is officially flowing through my apparently non-existent veins. It pretty much feels like the last trial did. I feel achey, nauseous, feverish, exhausted, and I have a head ache. So the flu without the flu part. Last time it only lasted a full two days, I’m hopeful that this is the […]

Clinical Trial Fears.

I have this devastating guttural cry, woe-is-me, I’m done, this isn’t fair moment every time I get diagnosed. Yesterday I had that moment. A clinical trial, it seemed like it would be a straight forward, almost easy road. But there is no easy road with cancer. I sat in the REI garage crying and contemplating […]

Going to War.

I’m tired. I’ve become too familiar with this term in the last 2 years. I feel lately as though it’s a permanent state. Fatigue. An abnormal amount of it. I guess that’s not crazy considering my body has been fighting a life-threatening tumor. It annoys me though. Maybe it’s also the fact that I just […]


The English language is so odd. Like how the word LIMBO can mean “an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution” but it can also refer to the “How low can you go” stick game. In this instance I’m not referring to the stick limbo, although now that I think about it, I feel […]